What is leadership? Good question.
For some, it involves delving into a lucky bag of inspirational quotes from excellent orators and trying to find a personal fit. For others, it requires the comfort blanket of a plan that worked for someone else in the same field.
All leaders scavenge bits and pieces. There’s nothing wrong with that, but for me the essence of leadership is understanding your team and how your organization works. It depends on the application of interlocking virtues, the way people in our club, company, or department conduct themselves with our values and our collective goals. It means knowing what to do, when to do it, and why you do it.
It doesn’t matter whether you are managing an office, running a production line, or coaching an elite sports team. Your primary role is to facilitate, to project manage. I see myself as a head contractor.
I’m building a house to the highest specifications, knowing the ground can shift suddenly beneath my feet. The job is fraught with daily difficulty. I have to synchronize a diverse group of highly skilled workers. I must recognize and weed out the coasters who cut corners. Principles are my foundation stones.
I oversee the architectural plans. They must be accurate, but they are not sacrosanct. They can be amended, subtly, if the need arises. There are so many different challenges, and some of them you simply don’t see coming. Your response in real time is the key to keeping everyone moving in the right direction. People often say that’s easier done with experience, without really defining what experience is.
Learn from failure
I believe experience refers to wisdom, which is accumulated through failure. Experience is how we overcome the curve balls thrown in our path that develop our dexterity and durability as leaders. Yet I see very few individuals and organizations put those lessons into effective use. That doesn’t signal a lack of commitment, but rather more of a confusion about the nature of the task.
Leadership is draining. You have to constantly listen well, communicate clearly, and reflect wisely. You must have a deep understanding of the human condition and be hyperaware of what makes people tick. Assume nothing. The range of motivational factors within your workforce is surprisingly wide. Age is an element that can creep up on you. Broadly speaking, I coach twentysomethings. Our social and cultural reference points are different. My understanding of them must shift constantly as I grow older and the world around us changes.
In my business, iconic players from a previous generation lose their relevance startlingly fast. No disrespect intended, and I realize this will be treated as heresy on Merseyside, but the vast majority of today’s kids would not have a clue who Kenny Dalglish is. It’s my job to bridge the generations and find more timely examples of excellence to expand upon. I can do that while remaining true to old school values because when it comes to teaching and learning there are eternal truths. To give an example, I live by the motto, “Stand, and live it every day.” It may not be fashionable, but it works for me.
Everyday examples make the best points. For instance, why do most people commit speeding offenses? Because they are running late or trying to get somewhere in a hurry? You’d think so, but most of the time it’s because they lose concentration.
They’re on a familiar route, on autopilot. (I should know. I got my speeding tickets on the road I use every day.) But when you are on a new road, in a different environment with fresh landmarks, you don’t make the same mistakes. In life there is always more than one path to take, and it’s my job to direct my people on different routes. It’s a simple premise: if you want a different result next time, take a different road. If your workshops or team-building exercises are generating the same stale responses, try a new format or environment.
Excerpted with permission from A Completely Different Game: My Leadership Playbook by Emma Hayes with contributions by Michael Calvin. Copyright © 2024. Available from PublicAffairs, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Emma Hayes is the head coach of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team. She was the long-time head coach for Chelsea FC, one of the most successful women’s teams in Europe. She led Chelsea FC to two domestic league and cup doubles, and one trophy treble since taking over the team in 2012.
