Have you felt overwhelmed from being so busy, both in your professional and personal lives? There are only so many hours in a day, and we’re often trying to fit too much in. For a long time, I was in this cycle.
At a certain point, while running multiple businesses and keeping crazy physician hours, it became too much. I just couldn’t do it all. Instead of doing a few things well, it was like I was falling short on everything. I took a step back and realized I was saying ‘yes’ to almost everything. In the end, that diluted my ability to balance work with what truly matters most for me: friends and family. It was time to figure out what was important, what was not, what to delegate, and how to prioritize my time.
I realized I needed to say ‘yes’ to less and ‘no’ to more.
Today, we’re learning how to reclaim our time and taking a closer look at how to set boundaries, rejuvenate your energy, prioritize what’s most important to you, and to do it all without feeling guilty. That will include helpful tenets and actional steps to empower yourself and prioritize your life goals.
Understanding the Value of Your Time
Author of The Road Less Traveled—a wonderful book on achieving fulfillment—M. Scott Peck once said, “Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. And until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” That’s an important lesson: value your time. Time is the one resource you can’t get back once you spend it.
Artfully saying ‘no’ to reclaim your time is part of this process. But I get it. I love saying ‘yes’ to as many things as possible. It got to the point where I felt obligated to always say ‘yes.’ And when I couldn’t say ‘yes,’ I felt guilty.
But when you value your time, saying ‘no’ can be a strategic decision that prioritizes your high-value tasks and responsibilities, especially those essential for busy doctors.
Freedom to Choose
One way to regain your freedom is to choose your commitments. This allows better focus and higher productivity which, in turn, helps you accomplish what you have in front of you. The results will be immediate, and you’ll work better.
Here’s another way to think about it. When you say yes, you’ve locked yourself in, losing your freedom to choose. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results, said it well: “When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option.”
Saying ‘yes’ all the time doesn’t give you more freedom; it’s the opposite. By being selective, you ensure your chosen commitments are in your best interests. It’s not just about declining offers. It’s about choosing a path that leads to better focus and greater productivity.
We need to understand that saying ‘no’ has a major impact on our ability to say ‘yes.’ Every time you say ‘yes’ to something that is not one of your main priorities, you say no to something that is one of your main priorities. Let that sink in.
What’s more, unimportant commitments can drain energy and divert attention from crucial tasks, making you less successful at many things as opposed to extremely dedicated and successful at a handful of things.
How to Politely Say “No”
It can be so hard to say ‘no’ and not feel guilty, like maybe you are offending the other person in some way. However, saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are unhelpful and misguided beliefs.
So how can we overcome this to politely say ‘no’? Here are some easy strategies and tips I use.
- Express gratitude: Genuinely thank the person for their offer. This shows that you value their time and that they’ve considered you.
- Be clear and concise: Directly state that you cannot commit rather than leave it ambiguous. And don’t provide an overly detailed excuse.
- Provide a brief reason: If appropriate, offer a simple reason for declining so the other person understands your position better.
- Offer an alternative: If possible, suggest another solution or person who might be able to help with the request.
- Leave the door open: Indicate that you might be open to future opportunities to maintain a positive relationship.
- Set a boundary: Politely set or reinforce a boundary if you feel this might be an ongoing issue.
- Give them a positive ‘no’: Sandwich your ‘no’ between two positives, such as gratitude and leaving the door open, to soften the impact.
- Decline with empathy: Show that you understand their needs or feelings, something that can help lessen any disappointment.
Reinforcing Boundaries
For physicians who face the dual pressures of clinical duties and personal commitments, reinforcing boundaries is crucial. Setting boundaries is not a sign of selfishness but an act of self respect. They define our limits and protect what’s most important to us.
When you set boundaries in a healthy way, you maintain a capacity for personal growth, self-discovery, and self-care. So how do you set boundaries? Start by using some of the strategies we’ve covered to say ‘no’ more often. But here are some additional things you can try.
- Set specific work hours and communicate them clearly to colleagues and patients. Use scheduling tools to enforce these times and manage expectations.
- Keep a diligent calendar to understand exactly how you’re spending your time. This can help you clarify how you’re prioritizing your time.
- Delegate and triage as applicable. For example, train your staff to handle certain tasks, or use a system that prioritizes issues based on urgency.
- Schedule self-care. Block time for personal activities that leave you fulfilled, like exercising, hobbies, or time with friends and family. Treat this time as non-negotiable.
- Review and adjust. Regularly assess how effective your boundaries are and adjust them based on feedback and your own observations. They need to meet your evolving needs.
Saying “Yes” to Yourself
Remember that you deserve the choice of how to spend your time and how to prioritize your life. That is not selfish. It’s you saying ‘yes’ to yourself. Saying ‘yes’ to yourself sets you on the path to achieving your goals and living a successful and fulfilled life.
Prioritizing has been important for me as a physician but also as somebody helping fellow physicians through my communities such as Passive Income MD, Curbside Real Estate, and Ascent Equity Group. I am able to be there for the community while also allowing time for my family. This takes practice, and I’m still working on it.
Practicing the techniques we covered today can make saying no easier without being harsh. But you’ll also align your reclaimed time with your priorities, taking you a step in the right direction to achieve your goals.
We talked about many actionable steps today. This week, try practicing saying ‘no’ to one unnecessary commitment that doesn’t align with your life’s priorities. One step at a time, you can start to better manage your time and energy.
Until I see you next, my hope is that you continue to prioritize your time to create an ideal life.
Peter Kim, MD is the founder of Passive Income MD, the creator of Passive Real Estate Academy, and offers weekly education through his Monday podcast, the Passive Income MD Podcast. Join our community at the Passive Income Doc Facebook Group.
